My Quest For a Normal Life
It seems that some greater force still wants me to get further along in my struggle to overcome my fear of change. I thought I had come along way. I have willingly went along with two moves that have changed my life completely. I may have dragged my feet and even dug my heels in a few times, but I did allow change in the end.
First I left a job of 4 years where a management job was going to open up and I was next in line. I moved to Sierra Vista and left behind my job, my friends, and my family. Then 8 months later, just as I got settled in we had to move across the country. This time I left behind a not so promising job and not so good of friends. I did however leave my family much further behind.
After arriving here it seemed that all my worries were coming true. The house we are stuck renting is horrible. The neighbors are horrible.
It is now becoming more obvious that the money they promised James at work is not going to happen. First they said that they would start him at lower pay until he shows them what he can do. Then after he started making them a lot more money they said that they felt the 4% of profit they promised him was too much to pay him. Then of course there is the fact that I quit working for them. So all in all this move was not at all what we expected.
So yesterday while I was cleaning and rearranging the bedroom I started seeing things that brought back memories and thoughts. I started seeing all of the things we have from James' last company. We have tons of things with the company name on them. The more I saw the more I thought about it. I sat looking at his old business cards. James was a different person when he worked for them. He was a stronger more confident man because he was treated with respect because of the knowledge he had and the ability he had to make money in even the worst store.
Working for these owners has changed him. He is not a happy person any more. He has had to stopped acting like a strong and confident man because it intimidates them. They do not want to hear how much he knows about business because it is making them realise how little they really know. They want him to just sit back and be a babysitter.
James has already said that he wants to leave but he feels he can't until I have steady pay. We moved to be closer to his dad so we can't just up and move for another job. Jobs like his do not normally just happen to open up in the same town as you.
I decided to go online and try to find a web site for the company he used to work for. Just on a whim I wanted to see if they were hiring anywhere near here. As soon as I googled Heartland I saw a job ad on careerbuilder.com for a district and regional manager in the Chicago area.
I was always against him checking into jobs in Chicago. He mentioned checking into if Heartland had jobs available way back when we first started considering moving here. The only regions near here that they own are Chicago and Madison,WI so I said no way.
As soon as I saw it I knew that I had to tell him about the ad and I had to go along with whatever choice he made. He is so unhappy right now and if he stays where he is he will never be any more than he is today. He was only going to work a half a day so I gave him a call. I told him that there was a job ad that I did not think he should ignore. He tried to not seem excited about it but I knew he was.
He came home right away and started to update his resume. I do not know if he was too anxious or if he just knows that I am great at all things (LOL) but he asked me to make him a new resume. As I made his resume he called his old bosses to see what their attitude was towards him applying so he would know what kind of reference they would give.
The first one said that he better go for it and if they called he would tell them that they better hire him. The second one said that they just had an Arizona regional meeting last week and talked about how he would be perfect for that job but thought he would not want it since he was promised so much at his new job. He also said that he would call his boss and ask him to put in a good word. James had forgot about their boss Drew so he never added him to his references. Drew loved him and golfed with him.
So James applied to the ad after I finished his resume. The ad was posted 6 days before but it did say ***Needed Immediately*** so hopefully it has not been filled. We also do not know what corporate put in his file when he quit to move. We both are now excited but not admitting it because we do not want to get our hopes up. If he is rehire-able and they have not hired anyone already it should be a very good chance. He already knows the company up and down and has been trained, tested, and certified level 200 (district manager).
The reality though is who knows what will happen. If he does get the job we will have to move again. This time would be less far than the Sierra Vista move though. Chicago area is only 45 minutes south of us. I already told him I am not ever going to live in Chicago but I will live close.
So now back to sitting, waiting, and wondering. I hoped that James would get a call first thing this morning and then he would call me and then all the stress would be over. I want to text him and ask if he has heard anything from anyone but I also do not want to get him more excited and then him get upset if he does not get it.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH, I just want a normal life. You know one of those lives where you live the same white house with a picket fence your whole life raising kids and then grand kids. I want a plain old boring life.
First I left a job of 4 years where a management job was going to open up and I was next in line. I moved to Sierra Vista and left behind my job, my friends, and my family. Then 8 months later, just as I got settled in we had to move across the country. This time I left behind a not so promising job and not so good of friends. I did however leave my family much further behind.
After arriving here it seemed that all my worries were coming true. The house we are stuck renting is horrible. The neighbors are horrible.
It is now becoming more obvious that the money they promised James at work is not going to happen. First they said that they would start him at lower pay until he shows them what he can do. Then after he started making them a lot more money they said that they felt the 4% of profit they promised him was too much to pay him. Then of course there is the fact that I quit working for them. So all in all this move was not at all what we expected.
So yesterday while I was cleaning and rearranging the bedroom I started seeing things that brought back memories and thoughts. I started seeing all of the things we have from James' last company. We have tons of things with the company name on them. The more I saw the more I thought about it. I sat looking at his old business cards. James was a different person when he worked for them. He was a stronger more confident man because he was treated with respect because of the knowledge he had and the ability he had to make money in even the worst store.
Working for these owners has changed him. He is not a happy person any more. He has had to stopped acting like a strong and confident man because it intimidates them. They do not want to hear how much he knows about business because it is making them realise how little they really know. They want him to just sit back and be a babysitter.
James has already said that he wants to leave but he feels he can't until I have steady pay. We moved to be closer to his dad so we can't just up and move for another job. Jobs like his do not normally just happen to open up in the same town as you.
I decided to go online and try to find a web site for the company he used to work for. Just on a whim I wanted to see if they were hiring anywhere near here. As soon as I googled Heartland I saw a job ad on careerbuilder.com for a district and regional manager in the Chicago area.
I was always against him checking into jobs in Chicago. He mentioned checking into if Heartland had jobs available way back when we first started considering moving here. The only regions near here that they own are Chicago and Madison,WI so I said no way.
As soon as I saw it I knew that I had to tell him about the ad and I had to go along with whatever choice he made. He is so unhappy right now and if he stays where he is he will never be any more than he is today. He was only going to work a half a day so I gave him a call. I told him that there was a job ad that I did not think he should ignore. He tried to not seem excited about it but I knew he was.
He came home right away and started to update his resume. I do not know if he was too anxious or if he just knows that I am great at all things (LOL) but he asked me to make him a new resume. As I made his resume he called his old bosses to see what their attitude was towards him applying so he would know what kind of reference they would give.
The first one said that he better go for it and if they called he would tell them that they better hire him. The second one said that they just had an Arizona regional meeting last week and talked about how he would be perfect for that job but thought he would not want it since he was promised so much at his new job. He also said that he would call his boss and ask him to put in a good word. James had forgot about their boss Drew so he never added him to his references. Drew loved him and golfed with him.
So James applied to the ad after I finished his resume. The ad was posted 6 days before but it did say ***Needed Immediately*** so hopefully it has not been filled. We also do not know what corporate put in his file when he quit to move. We both are now excited but not admitting it because we do not want to get our hopes up. If he is rehire-able and they have not hired anyone already it should be a very good chance. He already knows the company up and down and has been trained, tested, and certified level 200 (district manager).
The reality though is who knows what will happen. If he does get the job we will have to move again. This time would be less far than the Sierra Vista move though. Chicago area is only 45 minutes south of us. I already told him I am not ever going to live in Chicago but I will live close.
So now back to sitting, waiting, and wondering. I hoped that James would get a call first thing this morning and then he would call me and then all the stress would be over. I want to text him and ask if he has heard anything from anyone but I also do not want to get him more excited and then him get upset if he does not get it.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH, I just want a normal life. You know one of those lives where you live the same white house with a picket fence your whole life raising kids and then grand kids. I want a plain old boring life.
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